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Episode 88: Making Everyone Else Happy is the Fastest Way to Feel Miserable About Yourself

Oct 20, 2023


There’s one of those meme quotes out there that says, “Accidentally spent my entire life making sure everyone around me was comfortable, only to realize I never felt comfortable the entire time.”

Oh, did you feel that? When I saw it, I did, and I thought of you. Because so many of us are people pleasers. We go out of our way for others, only to realize that it is at the expense of our own happiness.

If you felt that quote, if you are a people pleaser, or always putting others needs first before your own, then this episode is for you. Today, we are going to answer the question… how do you know if you are a people pleaser, and what is the difference between being a people pleaser and just being nice to others?

The answer is powerful, it involves pancakes at IHOP… and I think it’s going to surprise you.

Together, we unpack:

  • Why do people pleasers sacrifice their happiness for others?
  • 11 questions to ask yourself to determine if you are a people pleaser. 
  • What is the difference between people-pleasing and genuine kindness?
  • Why and how people pleasing is rooted in trauma.
  • The fawn response is seeking safety through agreeableness.
  • 5 ways to break the trap of people pleasing.

Mentioned Resources:

Book: Complex PTSD – From Surviving to Thriving
Episode 84: Expectations Will Destroy Your Happiness.

Connect with Holly:

Follow Holly on Instagram
Take the Quiz - How Much Gratitude and Grit Do You Have?
Register for the [FREE] Navigating Difficult Times Webinar
Join The Gratitude Lab
1-on-1 Coaching

On the web - Fortitude.Academy

If today's episode resonated with you, be sure to hit the follow button where you are listening and also tap those 5 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ and leave a great review because it would mean so much to me to hang out with you every week and because it will also help to get this podcast and our wonderful message out to more Grateful Warriors!

Thanks for tuning in to this episode and I'll see you next week!


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